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“Sad; so sad, those smoky-rose, smoky-mauve evenings of late autumn, sad enough to pierce the heart.”
— Angela Carter, from Burning Your Boats: The Collected Short Stories; “Black Venus”
Feel bad, it’s okay. Cry. That’s okay, too. Get depressed. Let your tears fall for that person you loved but didn’t love you back enough to stay. Drown in your own sea of bad thoughts and hopelessness. Give that person what they deserve; your thoughts and a place in your heart. Because after a while—long or short—you’ll forget the color of their eyes, you won’t be able to remember the taste of their lips. They’ll be gone forever from your head and heart. So make the most the time they are there.
Abraham Alghanem, A Dying Flower (via wordsnquotes)
I am bad
at loving people.
I’m invested one moment;
Planning the memories that will
shape how they’ll destroy me,
And the next I’m
Ripping apart words that they’ve said.
Telling myself that love
does not
Exist.
Love can not
Keep me
Safe.
I’ll stop responding to messages;
Stop picking up when they call.
I’ll miss dinner once,
Twice.
They’ll wonder where I’ve gone.
Weeks go by with the same
short responses.
“I need some space.
This is suffocating.”
Why can’t I do this?
People will touch my soul.
With care,
and I’ll treat them like they
Were the ones to create these
Pieces that are engraving scars
On my skin.
I’ll treat them like horror scenes.
I’ll run.
I’ll convince them I love them,
Until I can no longer convince
Myself, and then
I’ll run.
I’ll misread every situation,
It almost seems intentional.
Creating problems just for kicks,
as if I get pleasure out of
Losing everything,
everyone,
By my own hands.
Maybe it’s because
It feels better being alone
when you’re not waiting for
the phone call where they say
“I still love you.”
Maybe it’s because
You’re not the one
Waiting by the door for somebody
Who will never come
Home.
Maybe it’s because
Being disappointed in yourself
Is easier than being disappointed
In somebody you love.
I’ll cast blame on anything
That doesn’t make me face
The fact that I can not have a
forever.
Not with another person,
No matter how badly I try.
No matter how badly I want to.
I can not trust my own bones;
Why the fuck do I keep thinking
I can trust anybody else?
//6:42 “She’s gone again.” (via theproblemswithmissingyou)
You never know how much time you have with people. You never know when it’s the last time you’ll see them; the last joke, the last smile. It’s short man, life is shorter than you think, and you’re left with that hole where your friend used to be. And you never really fill it up. You cover it up most of the time and go on with your life, but it’s always right there waiting to hurt you; waiting for you to fall back into it. I miss you, man. I miss you. I’m so sorry. Take some time and appreciate the people in your life while you can.
She was bad
and
beautiful,
like a cigarette
between
red lips.
The Short Poems Series by Royla Asghar (via poems-of-madness)
I hate that feeling when your breath stops short in your chest because you’re too busy trying ever so hard to stay strong and hold every tear back instead of breaking down.
the hard nights (via ashleymacleanblog)
Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.
(via remanence-of-love)
how to tell if I’m sad again
•I don’t respond to your texts for days
•I don’t respond to your texts for hours
•I don’t respond to your texts at all
•I respond with short answers
•I sound disinterested in our conversations, texting or not
•I don’t eat/drink/talk as much as usual
•I stare out into space more than often
•I stay in one place/a few places for long periods of time without moving v much
•I lose track of time
•I rub my head/eyes as if I have a migraine
•I talk more quietly than normal
•I don’t talk abt myself at all
•I make cynical comments, especially abt my existence
•I sleep too much or too little
this is not just me, though. these are common signs/things to be aware of and look for in people/friends/family members struggling w depression. stay safe, and stay aware.